The Mall Kiosk

    So you are walking down the mall minding your own business, trying to find your favorite stores to get that new gorgeous top (girls) or that hunky new cologne (boys) when you spot a kiosk in the distance with its worker on the prowl... You quickly look like you are in just the most interesting conversation, or you are suddenly entranced with the store windows (even if its completely not your style.)  Don't Lie! You all know what I'm talking about! And WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE! 

    There is something to be said for being on the complete opposite side of this spectrum.  Thats right, For the last few months I have been that annoying person prowling at the kiosk, the forbidden *mall kiosk :D  And I will never will look at kiosk people with the same disgust again... Ok lets be honest I will probably still avoid them... but now I can relate to their desperate attempt to talk to people.

       Although, life at the kiosk isn't as terrible as you would think. Ive learned there are a few specific stereotypes to look for in people that come to the mall. One of the rules we live by is remembering peoples faces so we don't try and give our shpeal multiple times to the same person. From that I have began to recognize those stereotypes. I have become familiar with who is a good person to talk to and who to avoid. So for any of you that would like to be let in on the little secret of how to get kiosk people to avoid you become one of these people:

The Mall Walkers- Def: people, usually old, that come to the mall at the same time every week to exercise by taking many laps around the perimeter.  

You think I'm joking, but most the traffic we get at the Provo Towne Center is the Mall Walkers. One couple in particular stands out to me because they always wear matching camouflage outfits. PEOPLE! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! They have violated so many fashion codes its ridiculous! To all you youngins out there: ***When you get married don't even think about wearing matching outfits! That is just a joke waiting to happen.**** Anyway, Mall Walkers have become sort of a joke in the mall. I learned quickly how to spot them and basically its a waste of time to talk to them because they usually don't even have their wallets, plus I see them pretty much everyday. Now I just wave and smile as they pass.

The Quarter Lady-  This lady is so funny! There is no other category to put her under so I just had to give her, her very own.  She comes at least twice a week every week to all of the vending machines to check for any loose change someone might have forgotten to pick up.  She always has a black sweater, black pants, black shoes, and a pink shirt on, although, one time she came in a different colored shirt... It was strange... I often wonder how much money she makes by doing that, but it would be almost impossible to ask her because she avoids all social contact with anyone.  Ive made it my goal to get her to talk to me, so every time she comes in I make a point of saying hello. Finally, after a month she smiled at me! :)  haha And now that Dish is including a channel to watch BYU Sports, she comes up to me and tells me to watch out cuz she is going to steal our sign advertising it... I think that means she is a BYU fan?... or just likes to collect trash... Either way I succeeded in my goal.  

The Little Adults- Ok so they aren't really Adults. I know that we have all been here at some point in our lives. This would be what I call the little children that walk around like they own the place. I guess I remember being at this point in my life where you feel so cool because your parents are letting you walk around by yourself in a public place, but really they are so obnoxious. I think they think they noisier and stupider they are they cooler they wil be. I better stop now or I feel like I could go on for too long about them. I feel that we have all been there though and can relate with what I'm Saying.  


The Mothers: I have learned that usually when approaching a mother I have to be wary, especially if they just got done yelling at their kids, because they seem to be very low on patience.  Ive also discovered that mothers see that we have movies playing on the kiosk and find it very easy to make their kids sit still and by default make me watch them why they go shopping. It happens with no warning. All of a sudden their kids are there and the parents are gone.  GOSH! The least they could do is pay me to babysit.  


The Single-Guys- From my experience the majority of these people just want a cuddle buddy rather than a new TV provider.  I usually start out the sale really strong and feel like I am about to get a sale, when WHAM! They give you an ultimatum. "You go on a date with me, and I will consider signing an TV agreement with you..." talk about a downer! It happens way more frequently then you would think, Seriously! Nough said.


The Old-Guys-  These guys are my favorite! They are so sweet most the time and almost always stop to talk to me for a few minutes.  Half the time I cant understand them though so I just smile and Nod as they tell me about their life. I met one guy that just finished building a light house, another that is a pilot in Alaska, and one that just got out of jail... don't ask me what for I was scared to ask...  I feel like these guys are usually just lonely though and need someone to talk to. I also get a few winks here and there:)


So there are a lot more stereotypes, but those ones are my favorite.  The Mall really is just like one big community. I know all of the other kiosk people and even have made friends with the Mall Cops and Custodians. One Custodian is here from Mexico and is so nice! He is working really hard to learn in English and always makes it a point to stop by and see how my day is going. He is helping me with Spanish and I get to help him practice English.  The T-Mobile guys are great! Although, they are super picky on what shows I play. But lets be honest, I don't think I can Watch Iron Man 2 or Dark Knight ever again either... The first 70 times in a row were enough!  I think I will miss the T-mobile guys the most after I leave (only 2 more days...)  They are so funny! and are just so entertaining... Sorry Tanner I promise I will stop talking to them so that they can work... 
    My Fellow Co-workers are great! Lisa who is always mistaken as Mexican :) even though she is like full Polynesian! haha (her reaction is the best when people ask her if she speaks Spanish)  Then Ian who is as white as white can be, but actually does speak Spanish! I will never stop laughing about the time he went up to a Spanish looking couple and started speaking Spanish only to have the guy look at him and be like "Dude I speak English."  And of course Katy! The awesome manager:) She has this way of getting people to just give her free stuff whether its a phone battery, those expensive energy bracelets, and even a Ghost Armor phone cover. WHAT IN THE WORLD! Teach me your ways!  I am definitely going to miss my Mall Kiosk....


Lets just take a moment of silence as we say goodbye to our spot at the Provo Towne Center...