The Mall Kiosk

    So you are walking down the mall minding your own business, trying to find your favorite stores to get that new gorgeous top (girls) or that hunky new cologne (boys) when you spot a kiosk in the distance with its worker on the prowl... You quickly look like you are in just the most interesting conversation, or you are suddenly entranced with the store windows (even if its completely not your style.)  Don't Lie! You all know what I'm talking about! And WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE! 

    There is something to be said for being on the complete opposite side of this spectrum.  Thats right, For the last few months I have been that annoying person prowling at the kiosk, the forbidden *mall kiosk :D  And I will never will look at kiosk people with the same disgust again... Ok lets be honest I will probably still avoid them... but now I can relate to their desperate attempt to talk to people.

       Although, life at the kiosk isn't as terrible as you would think. Ive learned there are a few specific stereotypes to look for in people that come to the mall. One of the rules we live by is remembering peoples faces so we don't try and give our shpeal multiple times to the same person. From that I have began to recognize those stereotypes. I have become familiar with who is a good person to talk to and who to avoid. So for any of you that would like to be let in on the little secret of how to get kiosk people to avoid you become one of these people:

The Mall Walkers- Def: people, usually old, that come to the mall at the same time every week to exercise by taking many laps around the perimeter.  

You think I'm joking, but most the traffic we get at the Provo Towne Center is the Mall Walkers. One couple in particular stands out to me because they always wear matching camouflage outfits. PEOPLE! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! They have violated so many fashion codes its ridiculous! To all you youngins out there: ***When you get married don't even think about wearing matching outfits! That is just a joke waiting to happen.**** Anyway, Mall Walkers have become sort of a joke in the mall. I learned quickly how to spot them and basically its a waste of time to talk to them because they usually don't even have their wallets, plus I see them pretty much everyday. Now I just wave and smile as they pass.

The Quarter Lady-  This lady is so funny! There is no other category to put her under so I just had to give her, her very own.  She comes at least twice a week every week to all of the vending machines to check for any loose change someone might have forgotten to pick up.  She always has a black sweater, black pants, black shoes, and a pink shirt on, although, one time she came in a different colored shirt... It was strange... I often wonder how much money she makes by doing that, but it would be almost impossible to ask her because she avoids all social contact with anyone.  Ive made it my goal to get her to talk to me, so every time she comes in I make a point of saying hello. Finally, after a month she smiled at me! :)  haha And now that Dish is including a channel to watch BYU Sports, she comes up to me and tells me to watch out cuz she is going to steal our sign advertising it... I think that means she is a BYU fan?... or just likes to collect trash... Either way I succeeded in my goal.  

The Little Adults- Ok so they aren't really Adults. I know that we have all been here at some point in our lives. This would be what I call the little children that walk around like they own the place. I guess I remember being at this point in my life where you feel so cool because your parents are letting you walk around by yourself in a public place, but really they are so obnoxious. I think they think they noisier and stupider they are they cooler they wil be. I better stop now or I feel like I could go on for too long about them. I feel that we have all been there though and can relate with what I'm Saying.  


The Mothers: I have learned that usually when approaching a mother I have to be wary, especially if they just got done yelling at their kids, because they seem to be very low on patience.  Ive also discovered that mothers see that we have movies playing on the kiosk and find it very easy to make their kids sit still and by default make me watch them why they go shopping. It happens with no warning. All of a sudden their kids are there and the parents are gone.  GOSH! The least they could do is pay me to babysit.  


The Single-Guys- From my experience the majority of these people just want a cuddle buddy rather than a new TV provider.  I usually start out the sale really strong and feel like I am about to get a sale, when WHAM! They give you an ultimatum. "You go on a date with me, and I will consider signing an TV agreement with you..." talk about a downer! It happens way more frequently then you would think, Seriously! Nough said.


The Old-Guys-  These guys are my favorite! They are so sweet most the time and almost always stop to talk to me for a few minutes.  Half the time I cant understand them though so I just smile and Nod as they tell me about their life. I met one guy that just finished building a light house, another that is a pilot in Alaska, and one that just got out of jail... don't ask me what for I was scared to ask...  I feel like these guys are usually just lonely though and need someone to talk to. I also get a few winks here and there:)


So there are a lot more stereotypes, but those ones are my favorite.  The Mall really is just like one big community. I know all of the other kiosk people and even have made friends with the Mall Cops and Custodians. One Custodian is here from Mexico and is so nice! He is working really hard to learn in English and always makes it a point to stop by and see how my day is going. He is helping me with Spanish and I get to help him practice English.  The T-Mobile guys are great! Although, they are super picky on what shows I play. But lets be honest, I don't think I can Watch Iron Man 2 or Dark Knight ever again either... The first 70 times in a row were enough!  I think I will miss the T-mobile guys the most after I leave (only 2 more days...)  They are so funny! and are just so entertaining... Sorry Tanner I promise I will stop talking to them so that they can work... 
    My Fellow Co-workers are great! Lisa who is always mistaken as Mexican :) even though she is like full Polynesian! haha (her reaction is the best when people ask her if she speaks Spanish)  Then Ian who is as white as white can be, but actually does speak Spanish! I will never stop laughing about the time he went up to a Spanish looking couple and started speaking Spanish only to have the guy look at him and be like "Dude I speak English."  And of course Katy! The awesome manager:) She has this way of getting people to just give her free stuff whether its a phone battery, those expensive energy bracelets, and even a Ghost Armor phone cover. WHAT IN THE WORLD! Teach me your ways!  I am definitely going to miss my Mall Kiosk....


Lets just take a moment of silence as we say goodbye to our spot at the Provo Towne Center... 

The Day I almost Went To Hollywood...

    About 2 weeks ago I was sitting at the Dishone Satellite Kiosk where I work, praying that someone would walk by so that I could give them my shpeal about how they should switch service providers. During this time I get a phone call from this unknown number that has a strange area code. Of course my curiosity spikes and I answer the phone:

"Is Aubree There?"
"This is She...."
"Hi Aubree, My name is Anna Marie from Hollywood. I don't know if you remember, but last year at Woods Cross you went to a career fair. Well one of my agents happened to be there and noticed you and thought you had this special look that we have been searching for. She brought me back your information and I have been saving it for the next time I come to Salt Lake so that I can audition you."
"Wait what?! Haha Seriously?"
"Haha yes! What are you more interested in Modeling or Acting?
"Honestly I have no idea. I have only had minimal experience in both areas. I did High School plays and was on a Fashion Team modeling wedding dresses, but that where my experience stops."
"That is not a problem! I will train you for both and then see what you like.  Just to give you an idea of some things I have done, I have gotten 7 girls onto America's Next Top Model. I have worked with movies such as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, all the Spiderman Movies, Catch Me If You Can, ect. as well as TV shows such as CSI, Prison Break, Hannah Montana, and Good Luck Charlie.
 "Oh my GOSH!" 

.....ok so the conversation went on longer than this, but this is just the overview. I spent a majority of the time asking her questions and trying to figure out if it was a prank or a scam.  As you can imagine I was pretty much jumping up and down while trying to keep my voice cool and collected. My neighbors at the T-Mobile booth gave me some strange looks, but honestly I did not care! I mean how many times in your life do you get a call from Hollywood people because they want an audition with you? WITH ME!
      Well after that I decided I needed to get in shape and so I hurried to call up different people to give me some advice. (you can read more about this part of the story in my other entry entitled "Hunger and Pain.")  Well my Audition has come and gone and It was probably one of the most unique experiences of my life.
      I had to leave Provo around 730 in order to get to the Hilton in Salt Lake on time. I met my dad at our home in Bountiful and we took off. When we got to the Hilton we discovered Anna expounded her story about what we should expect. Rather than meeting with her individually there were about 20 other people aged 11 to 22. The average age was probably 14-16. Its probably a bad thing that me and my dad went together because the moment we approached the sign in table we started eying each other trying not to laugh.    There was one girl in these cat eye glasses that was talking to her dad in this extraordinarily fake English Accent.  I swear my dad was going to bust a gut! Oh the things I drag my parents into.
    Well they showed us a promotional video of all there success stories (of course my dad joked through the whole thing as I gave him the evil eye)  and then they brought all the contestants...Is that even the right word?... well they brought everyone auditioning to the back of the room where they had us practicing doing a slate and a goldfish commercial... you know, "I just love Pepperidge Farm Goldfish! Its the snack that smiles back :D" It was hilarious!! I was trying so hard not to laugh.  My dad made friends with some of the parents which is good because we ended up being there like 2 hours over what we expected.  The other people that were auditioning felt just as out of place as me. One girl got picked up at Walmart by an agent! And all of us were just as surprised to be there.
     After we perfected and performed our slate and commercial for everyone we had to move on to runway walking.  I think the guys definitely had the best time with this;) haha they were all so shy and embarrassed! First we had to do the basic "T" turn. This is just when you walk to the end make your feet into a T and then ball change so you can walk back down to the start.  Apparently I had natural Poise! haha then we had to do a walking backwards move that allows you to flirt with the audience longer. OH MY!! haha I just had to give props to my dad though. I really appreciated those cat call he sent me when it was my turn on the platform.  ****Word of advice to all you future models: Make sure you keep your hand on the smalled part of your waist so you can accentuate your body****  The lady that was teaching us seriously had on 7 inch platform heels! Do not even ask me how she walked.
    I really loved getting to know all the other people. They were so fun! and I really hope they got a chance to move on, but I never did get to talk to them again once they called my name to go talk to one of the managers.
    I got the pleasure of meeting with a guy named Marvin or something. He was nice! apparently he has the ability to completely read people and know who they are and what they are like within only 2 min of talking to them. From looking at me he could tell I had a fun quality about me that is determined and dedicated. My dad would tell him something about me and he would be like, "ya i can tell.." and then nod his head in this very concentrated profound way. I think he is psychic... lets be honest.  I stood up and did my slate and commercial for him and he LOVED my animated facial expressions. He told me that he is very picky about who he brings onto work with and after saying that he would sign me on immediately for the acting/ commercial program. I would also be a great magazine/ print model, but in order to do runway i'd have to grow another 7 or so inches! I guess I better get on that;)  He told me he loves the fact that I am in school and that says a lot about my dedication and ability to work hard.
   Well all this sounded great until he informed me I would have to pay 2000 dollars to take these classes every other Saturday in Salt Lake. But don't worry he offered me a 400 dollar scholarship... Thanks that will help a lot...  Needless to say I ended up turning it down. It was a sad moment, but I guess I will find someway to survive.

So my fellow audience members: you almost knew someone famous... and so ended my almost Hollywood Experience :D